Back in his little house, Ender sat at the terminal and summoned Jane, again and again. She hadn't spoken tohim at all on the way home, though as soon as he turned the jewel back on he apologized profusely. She didn'tanswer at the terminal, either. Only now did he realize that the jewel meant far more to her than it did to him. He had merely been dismissingan annoying interruption, like a troublesome child. But for her, the jewel was her constant contact with the onlyhuman being who knew her. cheap north face denali jackets for women They had been interrupted before, many times, by space travel, by sleep; but thiswas the first time he had switched her off. It was as if the one person who knew her now refused to admit thatshe existed. He pictured her like Quara, crying in her bed, longing to be picked up and held, reassured. Only she was not afleshandblood child. He couldn't go looking for her. He could only wait and hope that she returned. cheap denali north face jackets What did he know about her? He had no way of guessing how deep her emotions ran. It was even remotelypossible that to her the jewel was herself, and by switching it off he had killed her. No, he told himself. She's there, somewhere in the philotic connections between the hundreds of ansibles spreadamong the star systems of the Hundred Worlds. "Forgive me," he typed into the terminal. "I need you. woolrich jackets for men " But the jewel in his ear was silent, the terminal stayed still and cold. He had not realized how dependent he wason her constant presence with him. He had thought that he valued his solitude; now, though, with solitude forcedupon him, he felt an urgent need to talk, to be heard by someone, as if he could not be sure he even existedwithout someone's conversation as evidence. He even took the hive queen from her hiding place, though what passed between them could hardly be thoughtof as conversation. Even that was not possible now, however. Her thoughts came to him diffusely, weakly, andwithout the words that were so difficult for her; just a feeling of questioning and an image of her cocoon beinglaid within a cool damp place, like a cave or the hollow of a living tree.
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